Funny readings

Next year I get the pleasure of speaking once a week and cheering folks up by reading a short, funny thing during our weekly meeting. Unfortunately, I'm not vury funny and dunno wat to read to people sooo

Suggest shit! Requirements are that it be funny and/or thought provoking, less than five minutes read out loud, and not too profane. Examples of stuff are, like, I'll prolly read some articles from The Onion, some Mitch Hedburg and Billy Bailey and Lewis Black jokes, prolly read that Bill Fry bit on the beauty in Atheism, etc.

so ya post links and transcriptions and stuff plox